40 years away from home

In the later years of his life, Nguyen Van Manh (born 1968, Rach Gia City, former Kien Giang province) was reunited with his family after more than four decades of separation. 

His life was marked by many upheavals, all stemming from two times he chose to leave his family.

As a child, Manh’s family lived in the Ba Dinh new economic area in former Bac Lieu province. Before he was 10, his mother took him to Vinh Tien commune (Vinh Thuan district, former Kien Giang province) to work as a hired buffalo herder.

During three to four years of herding buffalo, his mother visited him only once or twice. At the age of 13 or 14, Manh was told by a woman that there was a demand for seafarers in Rach Gia City. He then quit buffalo herding and went to Rach Gia to work on boats.

In 1984, when the mangrove land reclamation project in Ba Dinh was dissolved, the State relocated families who remained there to Hon Quan district (former Binh Phuoc province) to work on rubber plantations. Among them was the family of Tran Thi Ngu, Manh’s mother.

Before leaving, Ngu brought Manh home and, together with her four other children, moved to former Binh Phuoc province to make a living. Life in the new economic zone was extremely difficult. After living with his mother and four siblings for only a few months, Manh left home on his own.

Upon discovering this, despite the hardship, Ngu put aside her work and traveled everywhere in search of her son. Eventually, she learned that he had returned to Vinh Thuan and went to find him.

The reunion was filled with bittersweet emotions. Ngu then took him to the bus station to return to Binh Phuoc together. However, while she was buying tickets, Manh ran away again. Discovering he was gone, she searched the station in vain and eventually returned home with the heartbreak of losing her child once more.

The reunion

When Manh left home that day, his siblings never knew why, as they had always been a close-knit and loving family.

Nguyen Thị Hong Trang (Manh's elder sister) said: "I heard from our mother that the first time Manh left, he told her he was just taking a friend to the bridge and he would be back. The second time he left, he was about 15 or 16. He was wearing a white shirt and black trousers."

Meanwhile, Nguyen Thị Hong Nhi (Manh's younger sister) recalled that during those years in the new economic zone, the family was extremely poor and often went hungry. On many days when they ran out of rice, they had to eat porridge to survive.

At such times, Manh often refused to eat. Nhi guessed that this might be why he left. She also said that after her brother ran away, Ngu made great efforts to search for him but returned in despair.

All of Manh’s siblings recalled that after failing to bring her son back, Ngu cried  for many days. She told her children that she had tried her best to find Manh, but when she reached the bus station, her son ran away again. From then on, she lost hope and believed that even if she found him, he would leave her once more.

After leaving home for the second time, Manh never returned, and Ngu no longer searched for him. Yet throughout the long separation, both mother and son carried an enduring sense of longing for each other.

Until her final moments, Ngu continued to call out the name of her lost son. Meanwhile, when alone, Manh often wept in sorrow, not knowing where his family, siblings, or parents were, or how they were living.

In the twilight of his life, he yearned to find his family again, though he still hasn't shared the reason for his two departures. However, because they had been lost for so long and the world had changed so much, he had few memories of his old home, except for his father’s name, Nguyen Van Trinh, and his mother’s name, Tran Thi Ngu.

He remembered he had five siblings: the eldest brother named Nam, the second sister named Trang (he was the third), a younger brother named Gioi, and a youngest sister named Nhi.

With very little information to go on, Manh's daughter wrote a letter to the program "Nhu Chua He Co Cuoc Chia Ly” (As If There Were No Separation) for help. After much effort, the program located his biological family in the former Binh Phuoc Province.

On the day of reunion, Manh’s brothers and sisters burst into tears of happiness. The five siblings embraced each other, asking questions through sobs. What weighed most heavily on Manh’s heart was that his mother had passed away and he could not see her one last time. Still, this moment of reunion was perhaps the most precious gift of all.

Ha Nguyen