VietNamNet Bridge - The family was happy to tear when their daughter had a foreign husband. However, on her first night, the bride was harassed by her Chinese husband.

Rural girls marry foreign men for filial duty

Fleeing in Can Tho

 
Living in the Mekong Delta, Ms. To Thi Thuan’s family, residing in Thoi Phong village, Co Do district, Can Tho City, does not have an inch of land. The family had to live on the land of a commune office.

This poor family has up to six daughters. While the family was stuck, matchmakers appeared and the family nodded consent for marrying their oldest daughter – named Hien – to a Chinese man.

As of now, the family still can not read the vernacular name of Hien’s Chinese husband. They only know that he is 16-year-old older than their daughter, born in Fujian (China), working in a company in Shanghai. This man’s Vietnamese name is Xuan Hai.
 
In early February 2012, Hien’s wedding was held after several days she knew her future husband. The wedding was held at home. The matchmaker gave the family a total of VND10 million ($500) and the groom gave his parent-in-law VND2 million ($100). In addition, the groom also presented his bride a gold necklace and gold earrings.
 
After the wedding, the new couple went to Can Tho city to spend their first night in a hotel. At the hotel room, Xuan Hai told his wife to take off jewelry to take a shower.
 
Until now, Hien could not forget her husband’s insanity and his sexual violence. “At that time, I just thought that I could be able to live with that violent husband," Hien said.
 
The woman rescued herself in the wedding night.
 
At around 10pm, she told her husband that she would like to go out to buy some personal items. This was the perfect opportunity for her to escape. She asked for refuge in a restaurant where was hired before.
 
The next day, the matchmaker informed Hien’s mother, Ms. Nhuan, that her daughter had fled. The family was dumbfounded. Nhuan got a stroke and the entire money (VND10 million) they had from “selling” their daughter was spent.
 
Nhuan sought help from state agencies to search her missing daughter. Finally, Hien, who got married for fulfilling her filial duty called her parents to tell them that she was still safe.

However, the matchmaker insisted to take back VND15 million ($750), the cost of the wedding.

The day Hien called home, the mother was so happy. But being afraid that her daughter was seized by the matchmaker, she asked the local Women's Union for protecting her child.
 
Unsuccessful escapes in foreign land


 
Not only Hien but many other Mekong Delta girls marry foreigners to show gratitude to their parents.

Bride Nguyen Thi Diem Phuc, 23, Can Tho City, who was mentioned in the previous story, is living in the days of pain, humiliation with her husband - Dong Ji Wo - in China.

Phuc’s phone calls made her family to feel like they lose off pieces of intestine. Phuc is being harassed each day in foreign land.

Phuc's grandmother said that she just dealt the phone number of her family and then hung up to wait for her family to call back. Her husband confiscated her personal papers and did not allow her to call home.

The family of Phuc’s husband is located on a hill and they even do not have a toilet. The food is not a good match. “As they cannot understand each other, my grandchild is beaten very often,” the grandmother said.
 
Nearly two months ago, also at midnight, Phuc escaped from her husband’s home. She walked alone for more than three hours and was arrested by Chinese police in the morning and put in jail because she did not her personal documents.
 
Being detained by police and because of the language barrier, Phuc could not save herself.
 
Phuc’s grandmother recalled that her niece cried on the phone and said: "At that time I was afraid to be jailed. I did not know anyone to call, so I had to call my husband."

Phuc’s husband took her home and continued beating his wife.
 
The husband and his family locked Phuc in the piggery and lighted fire around to make her faint. Then, his parents poured water on their daughter-in-law to bring Phuc to her sense.
 
They were still angry because the Vietnamese bride ran away; both Dong Ji Wo and his parents beat Phuc again with sticks. Each time she called home, Phuc told her family to save her.
 
Among brides who are asking for help in foreign countries, because of domestic violence, there is one woman who saved herself after more than one month in the foreign land.
 
Quoc Huy
To be continued…