In recent days, a group called “I Hate My Parents” has attracted widespread attention from internet users as its membership has grown rapidly.

On September 28, the group had around 50,000 members. Just one day later, the number had risen to 90,000.

The group features posts about family life and conflicts between parents and children.

Many young people express negative feelings and disappointment toward their parents when they feel they are not listened to or understood. Some posts contain offensive language and reflect distorted views or a disregard for family values.

T.B., 40, from Hanoi, learned about the group recently. Curious, she browsed the group and read its posts, and was “shocked” to see some children expressing extremely negative views of their parents and using offensive and extreme language to voice their opinions.

“The name of the group alone was shocking enough, and I was even more surprised to see that it had attracted 90,000 members.

“After browsing for a while, I felt both sorry for the children and worried about myself. I kept wondering whether my own child might also be in the group, posting complaints about us or expressing anger over something without telling us,” she said.

D.L., 45, also from Hanoi, has two children, a 16-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter. While browsing “I Hate My Parents,” she was shocked and saddened by the offensive comments posted by children.

She wondered whether her own children had ever messaged their friends to complain about their parents or joined the group to express negative feelings.

“I once discovered my daughter messaging a friend, complaining that I frequently compared her to her older brother. Although phrased gently, I felt saddened because I do not actually do that,” L. shared.

Browsing the group, Nguyen Huong (46, Hanoi) viewed the phenomenon from a different perspective, considering it an avenue for parents to better comprehend their children's thoughts, emotions, and inner struggles.

“I feel sympathy for them. The children created this space to release negative emotions. Parents might feel shocked reading these posts, but we must accept that children possess both light and dark emotional sides. 

Many well-behaved, high-achieving students harbor internal struggles beneath a 'good child' persona, fearing to express pent-up frustration. That remains dangerous,” Huong shared.

Warnings from expert

Dr. Pham Thi Thuy, Lecturer at the Academy of Politics Region II and consultant at the HCMC Women's Cultural House, noted multiple factors driving youth to join the group.

Key drivers include the need to release negative emotions regarding parental relationships, the desire to be heard and seek empathy, curiosity regarding peer psychology, and general inquisitiveness.

“While the group name 'I Hate My Parents' creates a sensitive and negative impression, the desire for a dedicated space to express and release emotions remains entirely legitimate for children,” Thuy noted.

However, when group content features widespread negative posts, profane language, insult toward parents, or rejection of family values, the forum poses substantial risks to both children and parents.

For youths directly posting vent messages, the practice - intended to release emotion -actually amplifies pessimism and hostility toward parents. Furthermore, it represents deviant behavior that severs familial connections.

For passive readers who harbor negative feelings, consuming extreme posts reinforces distorted thinking and sparks a complete loss of trust in parents.

“Additionally, youths face risks from bad actors lurking within the group to exploit vulnerable psychological states for fraudulent or predatory purposes,” the expert warned.

For parents monitoring the group, exposure to extreme posts can induce pessimism and loss of trust, potentially leading to hostile reactions toward their children that exacerbate family disconnect.

The expert advised that upon discovering a child participating in or following the group, parents should avoid panic, anxiety, or prejudice. Instead, they should treat it as an opportunity for dialogue and reconnection.

“Parents should sit down and converse with their children to understand why they joined the group, acknowledging positive aspects such as improving parent-child understanding to foster an open atmosphere. Subsequently, parents can ask whether any parental actions caused dissatisfaction, inviting frank feedback verbally, via text, or through handwritten letters, while reaffirming a constant readiness to listen,” the expert advised.

Thanh Minh