Though simpler nowadays than it once was, the traditional wedding of the red dao ethnic  minority remains steeped in ethnic  tradition.


A friend of mine named Le Son  Ha, who was born in the Ta Van valley near Sa Pa, recently invited us to travel north to attend a traditional wedding of the  Red  Dao (pronounced “Zao”) ethnic minority.

Hiring a motorbike taxi in Sa Pa, we headed down the undulating road through scenery more beautiful than a landscape painting.  By the  time  we arrived in  the  Ta Van valley it  was starting to  get  dark.

Hµ had  already prepared a traditional red wedding envelope and reminded us how important it was to ask the hosts before doing anything, as the wedding was considered an extremely important occasion in the life of the Red Dao people and we had to be very careful not  to do anything which might cause them unhappiness.

The  Red   Dao  have  one  important thing in common with many other ethnic minorities living in the  Sa Pa area: they  are extremely cordial and hospitable. However, before you  do anything  it  is  important  to  observe their customs closely and if necessary ask the host first.

Our  group comprised Hµ, two news- paper  reporters  and  the  motorbike taxi-driver, and all four of us became guests at the wedding. One of the most endearing  features of  the  Red   Dao people is that, regardless of who you are, if you attend a wedding you become  an  honoured  guest and  are received very warmly.



Crossing Cau May  (Cloudy  Bridge), we climbed a narrow mountain path, then crossed a stream by a precarious wooden plank to reach Giang Ta Chay hamlet. It  was obvious that  this was where the wedding was taking place as we immediately saw many Red  Dao girls standing around, all wearing beautifully-decorated traditional headdress.

Around 30 to 40 people were already gathered in the village for the wedding, and after a few words of introduction, a man in his 60s with a bright smile asked us to  come  into  his house. It turned out that he was the paternal grandfather of the groom, Ly Lao San.

Compared to city dwellings his house could be considered rather poorly furnished, but in this area it was in fact one  of the  more  affluent residences. We took off our shoes before entering.

Today Red Dao weddings have moved with  the  times  and  the  rituals surrounding them are no longer as rigid as they used to  be. The  wedding ceremonies are simpler than they were in the past and now take only two days. Nonetheless many ancient traditions are still enacted. For example, when bringing home  the  bride, the  groom has to carry out a “gallant” action, typically carrying the bride on his shoulder over the stream before they arrive home.   

Another  Dao  tradition  that those  of  us living modern  city lives might well learn from is that, after get- ting married, a Red  Dao couple will live with each other for the rest of their days and never divorce each other.

When we arrived at the bride’s family’s house, the  bride, Tan Thi May had been placed temporarily in a discrete curtained-off area of the house, waiting for the propitious hour  to  come out and  greet  the  guests.

Every activity, from eating and drinking to  greeting and  saying farewell to  the  guests, as well  as  the  wedding  nuptials them- selves, took place inside the house.

Although life is still hard for many Dao people, everything here was kept very clean. The food was quite tasty and our hosts also ensured that there were enough bowls, chopsticks, spoons and condiments for everyone attending the wedding.

Perhaps the  happiest person  was  the paternal grandfather of the groom. With a cheerful smile, he told us: “It’s great having you here. Don’t go home, please stay the night.”



As the evening wore on, people would take a nap to  get their strength back, enjoy more food and wine, then sleep a little more. When we climbed to the upper level of the house, we found a number of people lying there asleep on mats. The host had to shift several of these sleep.

 The Red Dao weddingng guests to one side in order to make enough room for us to sit down. Had we been really drunk by this time and wanted to stay overnight, our host would most likely have let us sleep in this area.

However,  we  eventually had  to  bid our host farewell and return to Sa Pa. Reluctantly he saw us off. It struck me then how truly hospitable and friendly our  Red  Dao  hosts were. 

Far from simply being polite, they really wanted us to  stay and would  enthusiastically have made space for us if we had been able to do so. But by the same token, they understood that we really had to leave and did not take offence.

VCW