VietNamNet Bridge – Working slowly, a woman would be beaten by her husband. She would also be maltreated if she cooks rice not very well, does not respond to her husband quickly or even with no attention.

In a village with up to 70 cases of domestic violence a year, when the local men were asked "do you beat your wife?" all of them, except only one, said “yes.” This fact has made the village become “famous” as a place of men who beat their wives.

In that village, domestic violence has become something very popular. The rural women who struggle to earn their living become skinny and emaciated because of the harassment from their husbands. The men here get drunk every day and beat their wives constantly.

A typical example is a husband named Nguyen Van Toan who beats his wife, Mrs. Nguyen Thi Nhai, all the time.

In the latest case, the couple worked on the field together. At noon, Toan told his wife to return home to cook rice. Nhai tried to make a few more hoes. Toan was frustrated, thinking that his wife was deliberately opposing him. The man rushed to grab her hair to press her to the edge of the field. Seeing a nearby lump of cow excrement, he stuffed it in Nhan’s mouth.

Mrs. Pham Thi Ha is another victim of domestic violence. Living with her husband, Vu Van Yen, for 15 years, with two children, but Ha has not had a single happy day.

She was beaten each several days, whenever her husband got drunk. The husband himself confessed that he was among the husbands who beat his wife the most often in his village.

Mrs. Nguyen Thi Lai had another pain. Her husband, named Hung, wanted to have a son. After having two daughters, Lao was pregnant the third time. Ultrasound scan revealed that it was still a girl. Hung was disappointed and drank all day. He tried to pick a quarrel with his wife. He even asked his pregnant wife to spray pesticide on the field or to carry paddy sacks of 20-30kg. If Lai argued, he gave her a bruised ear.

Similarly, Mrs. Nguyen Thi Hoai was harassed by her husband - Phan Van Mung – very often. He was sitting watching TV when his wife walked around. Instead of moving to another seat or telling his wife to not walking around, he beat her.

His family bred chickens but if he stepped on chicken feces, he would find his wife to beat. Once, Hoai was in her neighbor’s home to chat; her husband rushed into the house to insult and kicked her with his chicken feces-covered foot.

That village is Thanh Ne, in Kien Xuong District, Thai Binh province. However, the village is different today.

Last year, Thanh Ne was one of two typical places where the National Assembly took as a basis for drafting the Law on Prevention of Domestic Violence.

The men who beat their wives have become members of the club of good husbands.

Husband Vu Van Yen said that, after two years joining the club, he gave up the habit of beating his wife and learned to respect and listen to the opinions of his wife. It is the most valuable lessons of life that he learned at the age of 40.

"After nearly 15 years of marriage and being the father of two children, now I really feel the meaning of the words "happiness" in its entirety. I used to beat my wife very often but since 2004, I was invited to join the club, through which I realized many things and I knew that I was wrong," Yen said.

Yen also volunteered to become an active propagandist for the club. He encouraged the men who beat their wives to give up this habit to together build prosperous and happy families with their wives. He himself loves and shares everything with his wife.

In joining this club, many other husbands have also changed.

The club members meet every Saturday night, with the participation of 40-50 men. They are provided with knowledge on the Law on Prevention of Domestic Violence, the Law on Marriage and Family, etc.

Ms. Vu Thi Ton, Chair of the Thanh Ne Women’s Union, said it was very difficult to mobilize Yen to join the club. He refused to receive any official who came to invite him to enter the club. Until officials threated him by the law, he received them. Since then he was gradually convinced to join the club of good husbands, which was held by the local women’s union..

Not only Yen, but all the husbands who used to beat their wives in Thanh Ne and Vu Lac (Thai Binh province), after joining the club have changed completely. There were some husbands at first were very reluctant to participate and those who only joined the club with the intervention of police, but in the end, they become very active members.

Professor Le Thi Quy from the Tradition and Development Research Institute said that once she met with 15 husbands in Thanh Khe, she asked: "Who among you who beat your wives?" only one of them stood up and said “no.”

She asked them why they beat their wives. Most of them could not make any plausible reason. They considered beating their wives as normal because they thought that the husband has the right to "teach his wife" when she does not obey.

ANTD