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Vietnamese parents urged to change parenting mindset

VietNamNet Bridge - Vietnamese students say they feel too much pressure from their parents, who hope they can learn well and succeed in their lives.

VietNamNet Bridge - Vietnamese students say they feel too much pressure from their parents, who hope they can learn well and succeed in their lives.





Nguyen Tu Nhi, a high school student in Hanoi, in an email to VietNamNet, wrote that no one can be good at all 13 learning subjects and can spend time to learn all lessons. Therefore, cheating at the exams is the solution that the majority of students choose.

“I never said to them (parents) that I cheated at the exams because I was afraid I might shock them. However, adults should understand that no one has enough time for all 13 learning subjects, because there are only 24 hours a day. This proves to be an impossible mission,” she wrote.

Hoang Tuan Anh, also a high school student in Hanoi, noted that since students all feel overloaded, they have to “cooperate with each other to cheat teachers and parents”.

When asked how they ‘cheat teachers and parents’, Anh said students in his class gather in teams, where members help each other obtain high scores for school works. 

“Some of us are good at natural science subjects, and they are in charge of providing answers to math, physics and chemistry exam questions to the other members of the team to copy. Meanwhile, those, who are good at social sciences, have the responsibility of giving answers to literature, history and geography exam questions,” Anh said.

“With that way, we can solve all the questions, get high scores at exams and obtain the title of excellent students to please parents,” he added.

Nguyen Nhung, an university graduate, said she never could enjoy her childhood because of her time spent on learning. 

Nhung has been named an ‘excellent student’ over the last 16 years, including 12 years at general school and four years at university. Her parents take pride in her great achievements in learning. 

“I was always an excellent student at school, but now I don’t know what I should do to earn enough money to feed myself,” she complained.

“I would rather put my university degree into drawers. I feel ashamed because I spent too much money on studying, but the university degree is useless to me,” she added.

What is the solution to the problem? A psychologist said the solution is very simple – parents need to change their mindsets in parenting.

“First, please stay happy and loving to children even though they cannot get the ‘excellent student’ title. Change your thoughts that all excellent students will succeed in life. Then be courageous to say this to your children,” he said.

Ngan Anh


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