The practice of “Wife catching” is when the boy supposedly kidnaps the girl of his dreams at sunset with the help of close friends and keeps her at his family home for three days.

It is believed that the more friends involved, the longer and happier time the couple will have together.

Even though the girl has agreed to the kidnapping, she puts up a struggle for theatrical purposes. After the three-day period, the couple is considered husband and wife and they return to the wife’s home to break the news to her family. In most cases the families have already agreed to the marriage so the wife catching is a ceremonial event.

In most cases the families have already agreed to the marriage so the wife catching is a ceremonial event.

"Wife catching" of the Red Dao ethnic in Mo Si San Hamlet, Phong Tho District, Lai Chau Province, falls on the four taboo days of the tiger, bird, thunder and wind during the springtime. They believe that if the villagers go to the fields or forest on these days they will be killed by a tiger or lightening or have a poor crop in New Year caused by wind and birds.  

According to the elders in Mo Si San Hamlet, in Red Dao culture, it was customary for the family of the “wife to be” to demand gifts from the family of the “groom to be” to prove that the groom and his family had the means to provide for the bride. Often the gifts included 70 white silver coins, two pigs, 20 wine jars and covering the expenses of the wedding ceremony.

It is also the Red Dao custom to organise a formal wedding ceremony only after the couple has produced many offspring and had years of prosperity, hence it is not uncommon for couples to be in their 70’s before holding the ritual.

On the taboo day of the tiger in Mo Si San Hamlet, the whole area was covered with a thick layer of mist but it didn’t stop the excited boys and girls from pairing off and having heart to heart exchange.   

According to Tan Kim Van, an elder in the hamlet, despite the fact that the living standard of people has been much improved, boys in the hamlet today still practise the custom of “wife catching” that has become an original cultural identity in the life of the Red Dao in the northwest of the country.


Young Red Dao girls in their traditional attire wait for their men
 




 





The boy may work alone to “catch” his lover or do so with his friends’ help

 




Young ethnic Dao boys and girls often meet at the terraced fields where the boys will "catch" their wife-to-be





This boy is successful in catching his lover
 



After being brought to the boy’s home, the girl will cut off her hair and becomes his wife
 

VNP