The scarf sent before going to war

In their six-story house on Thuy Khue Street (Hanoi), Bui Van Khoi (85) and Le Thi Nguyen (77) sit together, looking back at old keepsakes. Each item recalls memories of a harsh yet deeply meaningful wartime period in their lives.

It was during those years that they met. Their love had barely begun when they were separated by war, yet both remained devoted, waiting for each other.

Khoi recalled that in 1965, in response to the “singing to drown out bombs” movement, both were sent to Phu Tho to study arts and culture. He studied vocal music, while Nguyen studied cheo (traditional opera).

At a cultural exchange event, his powerful singing voice impressed Nguyen, who boldly stepped forward to present him with flowers.

“I was only 16 at the time. I didn’t know what love was, I just felt he was someone special,” she recalled.

As for Khoi, he was captivated by her lips. Every time they talked, he would quietly watch her, feeling emotions he could not explain.

In early 1967, Khoi volunteered to join the army, serving as a communications soldier at the Khe Sanh battlefield (Quang Tri), known as a "bomb pocket" at the time. 

Prior to that, on the day he left, he gave Nguyen a white scarf, with no confession or promise, just as a gift sent to the one he secretly loved. Nguyen, though her heart was moved, suppressed her feelings so he could go to battle with peace of mind.

Amidst the bombs of the battlefield, on New Year's Eve, he wrote a letter to her, expressing his heart for the first time. In the letter, he said: "The white scarf I gave you that day, if I return alive, it represents my feelings for you. But if I remain here forever, consider it a funeral veil I leave behind."

Reading these words, Nguyen's heart tightened. From that moment, she considered the scarf a token of their love, waiting faithfully for his return.

For nearly 3 years, due to the obstruction of bombs, Nguyen did not receive any other letters from Khoi. The letters she sent were also lost. However, she received news from his family.

"During the years at the battlefield, I couldn't send letters to her, so I wrote to my family about my feelings. I asked my parents and siblings to send news to her. Thanks to that, we still maintained a connection," Khoi said.

At the end of 1969, after 3 years at the front, Khoi returned in an exhausted state due to malaria, weighing only 30kg, with almost all his hair fallen out and skin as yellow as turmeric. Despite his weakness, he still walked 10km to Bach Mai Street to find Nguyen. On the same day, she also cycled 10km to Thuy Khue to find him, but they missed each other.

"Thanks to his family's notification, I knew he was back. I went looking for him, not expecting he was also looking for me, so we didn't meet," Nguyen said.

On another day, Khoi and 5 former comrades went to Nguyen's house, and they finally met again. Nguyen still remembers that moment.

“In the living room, everyone was thin, with yellow skin and lost hair, so I didn't recognize Khoi. I thought to myself, 'I'll go to the kitchen; whoever follows me is Khoi.' Unexpectedly, he really stood up and followed me."

When they met face-to-face, he asked her: "Now that I am like this, do you hesitate?" I tearfully replied: "I don't! Let's stay confident; your illness will be cured," Nguyen recalled.

That answer was an affirmation of their future. Khoi cherished the faithful heart of his lover, while Nguyen was happy that the person she had waited for nearly 3 years had finally returned.

Love in their later years

Later that year, with the support of both families, they got married.

They built a family together, raising two children (a daughter and a son) while overcoming hardship and poverty.

“No marriage is without conflict, but in all these decades, we have never raised our voices at each other. When things get heated, we step back. If we could overcome years of wartime separation, today’s difficulties are nothing,” Nguyen shared.

Now nearing 90, Khoi enjoys a fulfilling life with grown, stable children. Most importantly, his life partner remains by his side, healthy and sharing peaceful days with him.

Ha Nguyen