Nguyen Thi Loan, born in 1998, grew up in a large family in Loc Ha Commune in Ha Tinh province. Because of difficult circumstances, she became independent at an early age, taking on various jobs to help support her family and herself.

At 18, Loan went to Japan to work for a food company for four years before moving to work at a nursing home, where she remains today.

“Because of my circumstances, I could not pursue higher education. I admire people who study well and hoped to eventually marry an educated man. Above all, he had to understand my circumstances and value me for who I am,” Loan said.

When she met Damiano Dondini, born in 1993 and from Florence, Italy, a doctoral student at Waseda University in Japan, she found a man who matched her criteria but initially felt hesitant.

The couple met in 2023 after being introduced by a mutual friend. When Loan learned that Damiano was a doctoral student, she felt somewhat self-conscious because of the differences in their educational and family backgrounds.

However, during their first meeting, his humility left a deep impression on her.

“At the time, my English was still very poor, but he never showed any annoyance. After hearing me talk about myself, he said, ‘I admire you. If I had been in your situation, I’m not sure I could have overcome it and built the life you have now,’” Loan recalled.

They gradually got to know each other. The Italian man helped Loan understand that in a relationship, educational qualifications matter less than character and compatibility.

Once, Damiano took Loan to a friend’s birthday party. Loan asked, “What am I here as?”

He replied, “As my girlfriend.”

The sweet confession moved her deeply.

That evening, Damiano made a video call to his parents and introduced her as his girlfriend. Loan was surprised but became even more convinced that he was serious about their relationship.

“His parents are very warm. They did not care about my background, but only about me as a person. His mother later even told me, ‘If you want to go back to school, I will support you,’” Loan said.

Culture shock 

Still, Loan had some reservations when it came to marriage. She became even more concerned when Damiano said he wanted to return to Italy to live after completing his studies.

Knowing how she felt, Damiano told her: “Marriage is about taking a chance, and I'm taking that chance on you. I believe we will be happy together.”

“To me, our differences are not obstacles. I know she is the right person for me, and we have a deep connection despite the barriers,” Damiano told VietNamNet.

The couple married in December 2025. They planned to hold a wedding ceremony in September 2026, but it was postponed due to a family incident.

Loan has since visited her husband’s hometown twice. She has been surprised, and at times even experienced culture shock over local social customs and lifestyles.

The first thing that shocked her was how Italians express affection. On her first visit to her in-laws’ home, she was surprised to see her parents-in-law casually hugging and kissing in front of their children.

Later, she was equally surprised to see her parents-in-law’s longtime friends warmly hug and kiss each other when they met, an intimate gesture used as a greeting.

The Vietnamese daughter-in-law was also surprised by the views on love and marriage held by some of her husband’s young friends.

Some couples had broken up but remained friends, even bringing their new partners to hang out with the same group. Others chose to live together and have children without getting married.

Damiano explained that what mattered most to them was happiness rather than being bound by marriage. However, he emphasized that his group of friends could not represent everyone in Italy.

Forms of address within the family also left her confused. In Italy, daughters-in-law often call their parents-in-law by their first names rather than “Mom” and “Dad” as they would in Vietnam.

To this day, she has not been able to get used to it because she feels that calling her parents-in-law by their first names is disrespectful. Her in-laws understand their daughter-in-law’s cultural background and are happy for her to call them “Mom” and “Dad.”

Thanh Minh