She worried her disability would become his burden. He cared more about her optimism, warmth and energy. Their chance meeting in 2020 has since grown into a family of three.
At 7am, when his wife wakes up, Pham Anh Tuan, 34, from Khanh Trung Commune in Ninh Binh Province, carries her to the bathroom and helps her with her morning routine. Then he wakes their daughter and prepares breakfast.
Once they have eaten, he asks his parents-in-law to watch their child while he and his wife begin work.
For the past four years, these routines have become second nature to Tuan, ever since he married Ta Thi Kim Thanh, 30, from Tien Thang Commune in Hanoi. Born with cerebral palsy, Thanh has severely limited mobility and weakness affecting much of her body.
Tuan does not regard caring for her as a hardship. To him, Thanh is the reason he now has the family life he always wanted.
Love at first sight
Tuan and Thanh first met in 2020. Photo: Chu Tam
Tuan and Thanh met by chance in 2020. At the time, Tuan worked at an auto parts store in Hanoi, while Thanh was employed by a photo-editing company in the city.
They connected through a dating app.
During their first conversations, Thanh was open about her condition, although Tuan initially assumed she was simply physically weaker than most people.
For their first meeting, Tuan brought Thanh her favorite food at her workplace.
The moment they met, Thanh pressed herself shyly against a wall and asked him to turn around.
“I didn’t want him to see how difficult it was for me to walk,” Thanh recalled.
Tuan turned away, but he had already seen.
He was somewhat surprised that Thanh’s condition was more severe than he had imagined. Yet what struck him far more strongly was her bright, endearing face and the positive energy she radiated.
“Despite her physical limitations, her face simply lit up,” Tuan recalled. “I liked Thanh from that very first moment.”
Tuan pursued her wholeheartedly.
On evenings when Thanh worked overtime, he would come to take her home. Whenever he had free time, he would pick her up and take her out for meals or simply spend time together.
Being with Thanh never made him self-conscious, regardless of the curious looks they sometimes received from strangers.
Just one week after they met, Tuan asked to visit Thanh’s family.
Although he had not formally asked her to be his girlfriend, he told her parents that he was serious about getting to know their daughter and asked for their permission to continue visiting and taking her out.
Thanh’s mother was moved.
“You already know Thanh’s situation,” she told him. “If the two of you cannot become a couple, being good friends would still be wonderful.”
That evening, as Tuan and Thanh spent time by Hanoi’s West Lake, she gave him another warning.
“Think about this very carefully,” Thanh told him. “If you marry me, your life will be hard.”
Tuan answered without hesitation: “What’s so hard about it? You’re light to carry.”
That was the moment they officially became a couple.
“I was surprised because I never thought he would declare his feelings so quickly,” Thanh said. “I cared about him, but I was also afraid that being with me would make his life difficult. Eventually, his determination made me feel secure.”
Carrying his girlfriend to register their marriage
Tuan fell in love with Thanh’s optimism and positive outlook on life. Photo: Chu Tam
The groom carries his bride home. Photo: Chu Tam
After two years together, Tuan took Thanh home to meet his family.
The meeting put Thanh under considerable pressure. Tuan, however, had already made up his mind: whatever his family’s reaction, he intended to marry her.
His relatives were divided. Some opposed the marriage while others supported the couple. Tuan’s mother also had reservations, largely because she worried about her son.
Tuan remained resolute.
The very next day, he gathered the necessary documents and went with Thanh to the local People’s Committee office to register their marriage.
“I carried her into the commune office to complete our marriage registration, and naturally it attracted some attention,” Tuan said. “But the only thing I cared about was my own happiness.”
In 2023, once their circumstances had become more settled, the couple held a wedding in Thanh’s hometown. Tuan’s parents joined other relatives and friends from the groom’s side for the ceremony.
Having the blessing of both families made their happiness feel complete.
In 2024, Thanh became pregnant with their first daughter.
After hoping for a child for a long time, the couple were overwhelmed with happiness when Thanh conceived naturally.
“As Thanh was getting close to giving birth, my parents-in-law suggested that we move back to live with them so they could help take care of us,” Tuan recalled. “It made sense to me, so I agreed immediately.”
For him, moving in with his wife’s family carried no stigma or complication.
“All that matters is that my wife and child have the best and most comfortable life possible,” he said.
Tuan and Thanh with their daughter. Photo: Chu Tam
Throughout Thanh’s pregnancy and after she gave birth, Tuan cared for her closely. Whenever she needed to get out of bed, he would carry her. He handled everyday needs ranging from meals to helping her with personal care.
Their daughter is now two, but little has changed in the way Tuan looks after his wife.
Thanh can move short distances around the house by holding onto walls for support. Beyond that, Tuan helps her get wherever she needs to go.
“I had previously learned to do the kind of work my wife does, so now we can both work from home,” he said. “That means I can stay close and take care of her.”
The couple spend virtually all their time together.
“Wherever Tuan is, Thanh is there too,” he said. “At first, we joked, ‘If we’re stuck together like this all the time, we’ll probably argue every day.’ But in reality, in six years together, we’ve never once had a serious shouting match.”
Tuan has heard his share of disparaging comments from other people. Yet he has never felt that marrying Thanh made his life burdensome.
Quite the opposite.
For him, it was this woman, the one who once shyly asked him to turn away so he would not see her struggle to walk, who gave him the family he treasures today.
Six years on, he still cherishes the relationship as deeply as he did at the beginning.
Vietnamnet.vn
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