Raising nine children by the sea

Vu Van Hai, now 90, lives in Phong Coc ward, Quang Ninh province. His family, spanning multiple generations, is widely admired for its unity and strong sense of filial piety. Children and grandchildren remain close, treating one another with respect and care.

Hai and his late wife raised nine children - five sons and four daughters. For much of their lives, the couple worked tirelessly at sea and on the land, enduring hardship to ensure their children grew up and found stability.

Vu Van Bang, 70, the eldest son, recalls a childhood shaped by the rhythm of the sea. He and his eight siblings were raised on small basket boats, oars, and the modest catch their parents brought home each day.

At the time, the family could not afford a proper fishing vessel. Their parents would paddle out to sea in simple round boats, catching shrimp and fish. During those long days offshore, the children stayed home, caring for one another. Older siblings looked after the younger ones, forming bonds that would last a lifetime.

“We were already in our 30s before the family could build a proper boat,” Bang said. “From then on, we would spend one to two months at sea each trip, while the younger siblings managed things at home.

“Our parents went to sea to earn money for us. Sometimes, the heaviest thing they brought back wasn’t fresh fish, but jars of shrimp paste - food we could rely on for many days. We grew up on those jars of shrimp paste.”

Understanding their parents’ sacrifices, the children grew up obedient and devoted. The older siblings worked alongside their mother to help earn a living, while the younger ones learned to be thoughtful and respectful, never causing their parents worry.

Hai himself was known for his gentle nature. None of his nine children recall ever being beaten. Growing up in a warm and peaceful home, they developed calm temperaments and a deep sense of empathy, always supporting one another.

“Our father always taught us to live with virtue and compassion,” Bang said. “Unity among siblings and devotion to parents - that is the greatest blessing a family can have.”

A family that gathers, again and again

Hai’s wife passed away many years ago. He now lives with his eldest son’s family.

At 90, he has 50 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandchild. Among his 18 children and in-laws, one son and three sons-in-law have passed away. The rest continue to live close by, maintaining strong ties.

Hai remains the emotional anchor of the family - a symbol of resilience and a living connection between generations. Despite his age, he is still healthy, mentally sharp, and independent in his daily life.

Each day, he spends between 30 minutes to an hour exercising. He also rides a bicycle to visit relatives and check in on his children and grandchildren.

“My father lives with optimism and always puts family first,” Bang shared. “For him, having his children healthy and gathered together is enough. He asks for nothing more.

“Taking care of him is not difficult. Whenever we have something good to eat, we bring it to him. That alone makes him happy.”

All nine siblings live near one another, strengthening their bond even further. According to Bang, the extended family gathers about eight times a year - for year-end celebrations, post-Tet rituals, spring festivals, Qingming Festival, the seventh lunar month, and three major death anniversaries.

“In our family, we don’t distinguish between sons, daughters, or in-laws. Every child is equal,” Bang said. “When we visit our parents’ home, if there’s food, we eat; if there’s work, we do it. Everyone contributes with the same enthusiasm, just like in their own home.”

Le Thi Le, 71, Bang’s wife, has been part of the family for 50 years. In all that time, she has never witnessed conflict among the siblings. Instead, she has seen constant unity and mutual care.

“When my mother-in-law was seriously ill for about three months before she passed away, all the children - sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law - devoted themselves to caring for her,” she said.

“We never divided responsibilities. Everyone took it upon themselves to fulfill their duty as children.”

That spirit of togetherness has been carefully preserved and passed down through generations. Today, the warmth and closeness of this large family stand as a testament to a legacy quietly built - and faithfully maintained - over decades.

Thanh Minh