A year after meeting on a dating app, a 64-year-old American traveled to Vietnam’s Dak Lak province to marry a woman 21 years his junior, carefully observing her family’s wedding traditions.
A bond built on understanding
In September 2025, Nguyen Thi Thu Phuong, 43, from Krong Pac commune in Dak Lak, happened to meet Timothy Smirth, a 64-year-old American, on a dating app.
Divorced for nine years and with a daughter at university, Phuong initially wanted only to make friends with foreigners to practice her English.
Timothy was looking for something different. His wife had died five years earlier, and his only daughter was married. He hoped to find someone compatible with whom he could share companionship and comfort for the rest of his life.
They began with simple messages asking how the other was doing. Timothy asked what she hoped to find at this stage of her life.
Phuong replied that she wanted an honest man. Age mattered less than being truly loved.
Phuong with her husband, who is 21 years older.
As they got to know each other, they discovered more in common. Phuong found him straightforward and sincere, someone who spoke his mind without showing off or indulging in extravagance.
Timothy, meanwhile, was surprised by how young she looked at 43. He later admitted that, when they first met online, he had wondered whether her photographs were AI-generated images intended to deceive him.
“We had both experienced loss. Five years ago, my eldest son died in an accident. That same year, his wife died of an illness. Having both been through heartbreak, we found it easy to understand each other,” Phuong said.
In January 2026, Timothy made a 23-hour flight journey from the United States to Vietnam to meet her. His daughter had repeatedly tried to dissuade him, fearing he would be scammed, but he set off with hope.
Waiting for him at Tan Son Nhat Airport, Phuong felt a moment of disappointment when she saw him approaching with a limp. Surgery when Timothy was 28 had left him with a lasting impairment in one leg.
“That feeling quickly passed because I thought, if someone his age, with a painful leg, had traveled such a long way to meet me, he must be serious,” she said.
Timothy stayed for 10 days. They explored Ho Chi Minh City before traveling to Buon Ma Thuot to visit her family. What surprised Phuong was his gentleness and the fact that he made no demands of her.
He was also thoughtful, taking the initiative to buy gifts for her parents and showing particular concern for her mother, who had broken her arm.
“My parents liked him because they could see how kind he was. My daughter supported us too. She just wanted me to be happy,” Phuong said.
Before returning to the United States, Timothy promised to come back to Vietnam in May 2026 to propose. Phuong decided to put her trust in the relationship and wait.
A groom delighted to welcome his bride
The couple married during Timothy’s second visit to Vietnam.The couple married during Timothy’s second visit to Vietnam.
The wedding was carefully planned and arranged. Photos courtesy of the couple.
An unexpected setback prevented Timothy from keeping that date. Three months after returning to the United States, he developed neck pain and needed surgery, followed by a lengthy recovery.
He worried that the distance and the wait would discourage Phuong. She remained trusting and understanding, reassuring him and encouraging him to focus on getting well.
In September 2026, Timothy returned to Vietnam, this time to marry her. His daughter had recently given birth and could not attend.
He wanted a carefully prepared wedding that followed Vietnamese traditions, as an expression of his love and respect for his wife.
They planned the celebration in detail. Timothy asked about each ritual and joined Phuong in preparing everything from their outfits and ceremonial gift trays to the wedding reception.
He took her shopping for a set of wedding jewelry, including rings, bracelets and a gold neck ring, which he would personally bring on the day he came to collect his bride.
He also carefully selected a ceremonial gift tray with a roast pig, wanting an offering that would be suitably formal and could be left with the family after the ceremony.
“I will always remember him saying, ‘If we had a makeshift wedding and I went back to America, it wouldn’t affect me, but you would stay in Vietnam and have to listen to people talking. Besides, I want you to have a proper wedding,’” Phuong recalled.
The wedding took place in her hometown with around 150 guests.
On the day, the 64-year-old groom personally carried wedding gifts and arrived with his wedding party at the bride’s family home. They brought five ceremonial trays containing offerings including betel leaves and areca nuts, alcohol, cigarettes and sweets.
Unable to speak Vietnamese, he asked a close friend of Phuong’s to interpret so he could communicate with her family.
“Before the ceremony, Timothy was very nervous. He was afraid he would get a ritual wrong and upset my family. I reassured him that, as long as he was sincere and thoughtful, everyone would understand. We lit incense together to announce our marriage to the ancestors, offered wine to our parents, then went from table to table to thank everyone. His gentle, delighted expression endeared him to everyone,” Phuong said.
After the wedding, Timothy returned to the United States while Phuong remained in Vietnam, waiting for the paperwork that would allow her to join her husband. Another period of distance and waiting lay ahead, but after the wedding they had hoped for, she felt more confident in their new life together.
Vietnamnet.vn
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