VietNamNet Bridge - Many parents were extremely surprised when they knew that their obedient children were completely different people on the net.

Gentle schoolgirl is a “gangster” on facebook

In real life she is an 11th grader who looks simple, with a pretty face but on facebook, Hoa is a different person. She can be online all night, all day just to hang out on facebook but her parents do not know about it.

"Facebook? Anybody has it today!" Hoa, a 17-year-old schoolgirl said. Besides facebook, Hoa is also a member of two other social networks. She spends her entire spare time on these sites.

Hoa said, several years ago it was a fashion among the youth to play real-time games on the Internet but now it is facebook.

While talking to the reporter, Hoa was still attracted by her cell phone. She did not text or make phone calls but chats or made comments on facebook.

"My parents are not even good at using the cell phone let alone facebook," Hoa said when she was asked that do her parents have a facebook account?

For the parents like Hoa’s, who live in the countryside, the word "facebook" or "social networking" are too strange. So, seeing their daughter obediently doing homework or staying at home texting to “discuss lessons” with her classmates, they feel secure.

Hoa is a very normal student in her class but on facebook, she feels more confident with her friends. On her facebook page, Hoa can tease any classmate, talk rubbish and make comments on anything she likes. Especially after Hoa was reprimanded by her school for insulting her teachers and her classmates on facebook, Hoa has become “more famous” on the virtual world.

Parents are helpless

"I know but I can do anything," bemoaned Mrs. Chinh from Ha Nam Province when she knew that her youngest daughter insulted her parents and her head teacher on facebook.

She said her daughter is very stubborn so she was very interesting in educating her. Recently, her cousin’s child called her and said: “What had happened that your daughter spoke ill about you on the Internet. She said she did not want to stay at home longer, and would break off all relations with somebody!"

Chinh did not know anything about facebook so she asked for help from a niece. It turned out that the daughter found out that her mother and her head teacher are close friends and they regularly talked about her,  so she was angry and spoke ill about them on her facebook page.

"Perhaps she thought that we and her teachers do not know her online activities, so she did that. Although this is her private corner, I’m really heartbreaking! But I don’t know how to talk to her about it," Chinh said.

Not only Chinh, many other parents were totally surprised when one day they found out that their obedient kids at home swore and showed off themselves as “gangsters” on social networks.

Mr. Le The Son, from Tay Ho district, Hanoi said recently he was very worried when his 8th-grade son was “enchanted” by facebook.

"Once I visited his page, I got angry because I saw erotic photos on his page and I knew that he joined odd groups on facebook. I asked him and he said that his friends sent links to him and he accidentally "clicked" on these links, not actively looking for these erotic pictures. I’m afraid that the more he grows up, it is more difficult for parental monitoring, particularly with the virtual world like this," Son said.

Doctor of Psychology Nguyen Thi Kim Quy said expressing rebellion in the virtual world is a way for children to release inhibitions in the real life. In many cases, affected by mass psychology, they are also easy to be drawn into the situations in which they stone their friends, swear, etc. The use of social networking in a young age, without guidance from adults can make unpredictable harms that they cannot anticipate.

In all cases, parents should be close to their children to early identify symptoms, the problems that their kids encounter. The parents should not ban their children from using Internet or joining social networks because at this age if they are forbidden, they will do the opposite to assert their self. Parents should gently persuade and help their children understanding things and behave properly.

Minh Tam