The wedding of the Giay is not only a song that binds two hearts, but also the living current of a people’s culture in the highlands of the Northwest. Through each rite, offering, and call-and-response love song, a singular, captivating identity emerges, enriching the cultural tapestry of Vietnam.

Living for generations amid the mountains and forests of the Northwest, the Giay community in Sa Pa (Lao Cai) is among the ethnic groups with a rich heritage. They live in harmony with nature, are skilled in slash-and-burn farming, and treasure traditional culture. Within that treasure chest, the wedding is not only a milestone for a young couple but an occasion for the entire community to honor sacred customs passed down through the ages.

Cultural imprints in every wedding rite

For the Giay, marriage marks not just the maturity of a couple but the union of two families, the extension of lineage, and the sharing of affection. Choosing a life partner is not about wealth, but about virtue, family upbringing, and the harmony of both sides. The traditional wedding includes three main ceremonies: the proposal (xam da, xam pau), the betrothal (cun co ly), and the wedding (cun lau).

The proposal opens the journey to marriage, when both families meet, consult, and choose an auspicious day known as the “day of sealing the promise,” a plea for the ancestors to witness and bless the match. Next comes the betrothal, when the groom’s family brings offerings to the bride’s house, typically a pair of chickens, a pair of ducks, and a pig of about 40 kg. This is also when the bride’s family sets the bride-price items: food and drink to treat guests, jewelry and new clothes for the bride, along with rice to present to her parents - a gesture of gratitude for their care and upbringing.

The Giay believe that the more cheerful the wedding, the more enduring the happiness. Thus the wedding season usually runs from the tenth to the second lunar months, when farm work eases and the whole village can gather to celebrate, creating a lively, bonding atmosphere.

A Giay wedding is a vivid tableau of ritual and feeling. The bridal procession moves to the sound of the Pi Le horn, led by the matchmaker, followed by the groom, the best man, two young women, two elders, a boy leading a horse, and porters carrying gifts. Each plays a symbolic role, reflecting cultural depth and communal order.

At the bride’s gate, the groom’s party must pass the “gatekeeping rite,” a sequence of trials involving a red thread, thorny branches, a basin of water, cups of rice wine, and a straw broom - proof of sincerity and resolve to welcome the bride. Then comes a witty, graceful exchange of call-and-response songs between the two families to “ask for the way” through a pink cloth into the house - a playful rite full of cultural nuance.

The bride appears in traditional attire, a red headscarf symbolizing modesty and decorum. As the procession enters, the bride’s family sprinkles water and rubs red pigment on each guest’s cheeks - a blessing rite of purification and good fortune. Especially moving is the “bride tug-of-war” rite: the bride’s relatives cling to and embrace her, expressing the ache of parting. More than a custom, it conveys a humanistic message about kinship and the sanctity of family bonds.

A journey of union and community cohesion

A highlight of a Giay wedding is the image of the groom coming to fetch the bride with a paper horse - an emblem steeped in folk culture. Whether on a real or paper horse, the journey to bring the bride to her new home is welcomed by the lilting Pi Le, by blessings in song, and by the whole village’s witness. In some places, a strong woman from the groom’s side even carries the bride - a distinctive image of cherishing the new daughter-in-law on her big day.

Back at the groom’s house, the rites continue with offerings to the ancestors, the unveiling of the bride’s face, and the removal of red ribbons - signaling her transition from daughter of her mother’s household to wife and daughter-in-law in her new family. The wedding feast unfolds to songs of sending off the bride and words of gratitude and counsel, urging the couple to live in harmony, fidelity, and lifelong love.

Every detail of a Giay wedding holds layers of meaning: the ethics of being human, the ties that bind a community, the standards of conduct passed between generations. Rites such as the “gatekeeping,” “bride tug-of-war,” applying red pigment, and sprinkling water for blessings do more than distinguish the ceremony - they help preserve the cultural value system of the Giay in modern currents.

Today, though life has changed greatly, Giay weddings still retain many traditional customs. This is not only an expression of ethnic pride; it affirms that wedding culture, as a cultural lifeline, continues to flow and radiate within the many-hued picture of Vietnam’s 54 ethnic communities.

PV