Dating many girls at the same time or swindling girls out of money, many men surf on Tinder not to seek healthy relations, but to cheat young girls. People who use Tinder call them "trap boys or f--k boys", meaning bad boys who specialize in trapping people.

My Linh, 25, from Hanoi, said she was once in a relationship with a "perfect" boy she met on Tinder. 

She called him DID (Dissociative identity disorder) because the man sometimes appeared to be a calm and sweet, but at other times turned impulsive, and complained all the time and spoke ill of others.

Linh was attracted by his way of talking. He introduced himself as a man with a good family breeding, and head of the business division of a company with monthly income of hundreds of millions of dong. 

One day, Linh discovered that the man was in a special relationship with another girl. She found out that they had known each other for two years, and though the man still had not declared his love to the girl, all their relatives and friends were certain of their relationship. The man kept close relations with the girl’s family.

However, both Linh and the girl were not the real loves of the man. The girl that he chose to be his "main wife" was someone he had loved for four years and they were preparing for a wedding.

“When you seek a relationship on Tinder, you need to use your brain, not emotion,” Linh concluded.

Vu Hoang My in Hanoi related a similar story. The beautiful girl discovered that the boyfriend she found on Tinder had a fiancé and was going to get married in a few days.

“When I asked him about the fiancé, he said he was not ready to get married, but was hurried by the girl’s family, so he felt tired and began dating me,” My said.

“They have been dating for four years, but the man still said he was not ready to get married,” she said, adding that she felt lucky when discovering the problem early.

Meanwhile, many other girls using Tinder became victims of sexual abuse.

Vy Anh from HCM City said after several days of chatting online, Anh and a man had their first date. They went to a cinema.  After that, the man said they needed a place to relax, and they decided to book a room in a hotel.

“I could not understand why I was so naïve at that time. I just thought I would run away if the man did something,” she recalled.

As the girl ended up having to fiercely resist him, the man had to give up and release her.

“I won’t go to a guesthouse or hotel with new acquaintances in any circumstance,” she said.

Many other girls had worse endings than Anh. Some girls were raped and were later abandoned after the two-timers got what they wanted. Others discovered that they were just ones of many girls abused by the men.

Those who have many years of experience in using dating apps sat that there is not real love on Tinder and that one should not have high expectations.

A survey by Decision Lab found that 65 percent of 1,012 Vietnamese polled are using at least one dating app. Tinder is the most popular app, used by 22 percent of people. The other popular apps include Zalo and Telegram (21 percent) and Facebook Dating (17 percent).

Most Vietnamese use Tinder and dating apps to make new friends (48 percent), while only 39 percent use it to seek partners or date someone, and 35 percent use it to seek long-term relations. Vietnamese also use the apps for relationship expansion (34 percent), and one-night stands (15 percent).

The report also showed that Vietnamese use dating apps regularly, with 30 percent of polled people using apps every day, 19 percent 2-3 times a week, and 15 percent 6-7 times a week.

Nguyen Thao