An Australian engineer who fell in love with a Chu Ru woman during her visit to Australia is now preparing to settle permanently in Vietnam.
After falling in love at first sight with a Vietnamese woman 16 years his junior, an Australian engineer embraced the matriarchal traditions of the Chu Ru ethnic community and is preparing to settle permanently with his wife's family in Vietnam.
A cross-border love story
Oanh and Matthew have a 16-year age difference.
Ma Oanh, born in 1999 in Ta Nang Commune, Lam Dong Province and a member of the Chu Ru ethnic group, went through a difficult divorce in 2019 when her son was still an infant.
The emotional scars left her doubtful about love and happiness, and for years she could not imagine opening her heart to anyone again.
That changed in 2024 when she met Congerton Matthew, an Australian engineer 16 years older than her. Their meeting would eventually lead her to believe in love once more.
Oanh recalled that she had traveled to Australia at the invitation of a close friend. During a gathering with mutual friends, she met Matthew for the first time.
For the Australian engineer, it was love at first sight.
He constantly looked for opportunities to spend time with her, inviting her on outings and walks. Every meeting came with flowers or small gifts, thoughtful gestures intended to make her smile.
Even after Oanh returned to Vietnam, Matthew continued calling and messaging her regularly. Her status as a single mother never discouraged him. If anything, it deepened his sympathy and affection for her.
In October 2024, unable to bear the distance, Matthew traveled to Lam Dong to visit her hometown.
"To be honest, I felt insecure because we were so different," Oanh said. "He had never been married, while I was a single mother. My family are farmers, while his family is financially comfortable. Everyone in his family has a stable career, and he owns his own house and car. I felt like we belonged to two completely different worlds."
Winning over her family
The couple with Oanh's mother and her son from a previous marriage.
During Matthew's visit, Oanh openly shared all of her concerns.
She repeatedly told him that they were too different and that their backgrounds did not match. But Matthew remained unwavering.
"He simply told me, 'Don't overthink it. If I love you, my parents will love you too.'"
Matthew stayed with Oanh's family for two weeks during that first visit.
Rather than focusing on differences in language, culture or living conditions, he immersed himself in family life and adapted quickly.
He paid attention to every member of the household, especially Oanh's son.
Each morning, while Oanh was still asleep, Matthew would wake up early to exercise. Afterwards, he helped her son get ready for school, made sure he had breakfast and took him to class.
"His way of pursuing me was simple, but it was exactly what I needed," Oanh said. "I loved him. My son adored him. My parents cared deeply for him too."
Even so, it was not until Matthew returned to Vietnam for a second visit later that year that Oanh fully opened her heart.
From that moment, they officially became a couple.
Embracing Chu Ru traditions
Matthew has embraced the customs and traditions of his wife's hometown.
From the beginning of their relationship, Oanh introduced Matthew to the unique customs of the Chu Ru people, including their matriarchal family structure and the tradition of sons-in-law moving in with the bride's family.
"The Chu Ru follow a matriarchal system," she explained. "Women are the pillars of the family and make major decisions. During weddings, the bride's family goes to welcome the groom, provides gifts to the groom's family, and children take their mother's surname."
Matthew accepted these customs without hesitation.
"He respects our traditions and willingly follows them," Oanh said.
The couple have already registered their marriage and plan to hold a wedding ceremony later this year.
"He sometimes jokes and asks, 'How many gold bars will you give me when we get married?'"
Preparing for life as a son-in-law in Vietnam
Matthew's mother visits her Vietnamese in-laws.
Matthew is fully committed to moving to Vietnam permanently.
For now, however, work obligations in Australia require him to divide his time between the two countries.
The couple currently live with Oanh's parents.
Every few months, Matthew returns to Australia to work before flying back to Vietnam whenever possible. To maximize time with his family, he often begins work at 5 a.m. and works late into the evening to complete assignments before traveling.
"In nearly two years, he has returned to Vietnam nine times," Oanh said. "Every trip, he stays as long as he possibly can. In the future, he plans to move here permanently and fulfill his promise of becoming a son-in-law in my family."
Life in rural Lam Dong has suited him surprisingly well.
Matthew quickly adapted to local customs, food and daily routines. Together with Oanh, he helps care for their children and household while also assisting her parents with rice fields and coffee plantations.
He enjoys the warmth and friendliness of Vietnamese people and especially appreciates the vibrant festivals celebrated by the Chu Ru community.
Family meals, friendly neighbors stopping by to chat, and the simple generosity of rural life have made him feel welcomed and at home.
A touching meeting with his parents
Oanh's small but happy family.
One of Oanh's most cherished memories came in November 2025 when she gave birth to the couple's child.
A month later, Matthew's parents traveled from Australia to Vietnam to meet their daughter-in-law and grandchild for the first time.
Although she had spoken with them frequently through video calls, Oanh admitted she was nervous before meeting them in person.
"I was so anxious that my hands were shaking," she recalled.
Sensing her nervousness, her parents-in-law held her hands and reassured her.
"They told me: 'Don't worry. We don't care about your background. All we want is for the two of you to be happy. Don't put pressure on yourself. Their words moved me deeply," she said.
During their two-week stay, Matthew's parents joined Oanh's mother and aunt on trips, temple visits and family gatherings. Despite cultural differences, both families bonded quickly and treated each other with warmth and respect.
Before returning to Australia, Matthew's parents received traditional gifts from their Vietnamese in-laws, including bead jewelry, rings and scarves.
Although they did not fully understand the cultural significance behind every gift, they treasured each one.
"After everything I've been through, I have finally found true happiness," Oanh said. "I am loved sincerely by my husband and his family."
Vietnamnet.vn
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