Years of searching for her daughter  

Twenty-three years ago, Nguyen Thi Xanh (born 1981, Binh Thuan) found herself in difficult circumstances. Pregnant and abandoned by her husband, she was left to raise her newborn daughter, Nguyen Thi Kim Oanh, alone.  

Unable to care for both her daughter and her ailing grandmother, Xanh was advised by family to place her child in an orphanage. 

When Oanh was just five days old, Xanh reluctantly allowed a relative to take her to an orphanage, a decision she made with a heavy heart.  

About a year later, Xanh hoped to bring Oanh home, but her situation hadn’t improved. Around the same time, a Danish couple expressed interest in adopting Oanh.  

“I thought long and hard and decided that my daughter would have a better future abroad. I didn’t want her to live a life of hardship like I had,” Xanh recalled.  

On the day Oanh left for Denmark with her adoptive parents, Xanh met with them to take a few final photos. Over the past 23 years, she has kept these pictures close to her heart.  

Xanh later married and had five more children, but she never forgot her firstborn. Her husband and children encouraged her to search for Oanh, even though her attempts to trace her through official channels yielded no results. When she approached the agency that handled Oanh’s adoption, they informed her that they had lost contact with Oanh’s adoptive parents.  

When Xanh visited the orphanage, she learned that Oanh’s adoptive parents had brought her back to visit the orphanage every one to two years. However, in the last four years, no one had seen Oanh or her parents, and they never mentioned looking for her birth mother.  

Convinced that Oanh might resent her, Xanh felt discouraged and stopped searching.  

Daughter finds her birth mother within an hour  

Oanh, now known as Alex Pedersen, was raised by her adoptive parents in Denmark. Although she had a new name, she always knew she was adopted, as her adoptive parents were open about her origins.  

Despite wanting to search for her birth family, Oanh’s adoptive parents advised her to focus on her studies. They suggested she wait until she finished school and had a job before beginning her search.  

True to her promise, Oanh resumed her search as soon as she became independent. She asked a friend in Vietnam to post her story on social media, hoping to reconnect with her roots.  

Her message read: “Looking for my mother: Nguyen Thi Xanh, born in 1981 or 1982, last known to be living in Xom Ray, Hong Liem commune, Ham Thuan Bac district, Binh Thuan province.  

My name is Nguyen Thi Kim Oanh, born in 2001. At five days old, I was given up for adoption to a Danish couple. In the documents, my mother wrote that due to difficult circumstances and being unmarried, she could not raise me, so she allowed me to be adopted abroad.  

Now that I’m grown, I wish to learn about my origins and who my mother is. Please help me find her. I sincerely thank you all.”  

To Oanh’s surprise, within an hour of the post being shared, both she and Xanh received messages confirming they had found each other.  

Xanh said, “I was so overwhelmed with joy that I felt dizzy and weak. I always thought my daughter might hate me, but I never gave up hope that we would find each other. Now my wish has come true. We’ve been speaking over the phone, and Oanh keeps telling me how much she loves me and that she doesn’t blame me.”  

From the moment she saw Oanh’s face, Xanh knew it was her daughter. “We don’t need a DNA test. We look so much alike, and all the details match. We even have the same photos of Oanh when she was just over a year old,” said Xanh.  

For Oanh, finding her birth mother within an hour of posting felt surreal. She was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.  

“I understand why my mother had to make that decision. I don’t hold any resentment toward her. Why would I be angry at my own mother? I’ve never felt that way, and I never will,” Oanh said.  

Oanh plans to visit Binh Thuan next year to meet her birth mother. Xanh, upon hearing this, can hardly contain her excitement. After 23 years apart, mother and daughter are finally preparing for a long-awaited reunion.  

Ngoc Lai