A significant age gap can make many people hesitant about marriage. But for Thanh Ha (born in 2007, Hung Chau Commune, Nghe An), the 16-year age difference with her husband, Phan Van Cuong (born in 1991, also from Nghe An), has added a unique flavor to their relationship.

Ha said she once set herself a rule that she would not get married until she was 25. But after meeting Cuong, she changed her mind.

They met in 2024 when Ha was 17 through an introduction by an acquaintance. After discovering that they came from the same hometown and that their families lived only about 5km apart, they quickly felt comfortable talking to each other.

“Later, he told me that from the moment he first saw me, he understood what it meant to fall in love at first sight. I was impressed by his good looks and gentle way of speaking, but I never thought I would fall for a man 16 years older than me,” Ha said.

Cuong knew that Ha was still in school, so he did not rush her. Instead, he showed his affection through everyday messages and small gestures of care.

Rather than staying in Hanoi as he had before, after meeting Ha, he drove more than 350km back home every weekend to see her, usually bringing along small gifts.

After more than six months of pursuing her, Cuong finally confessed his feelings and Ha accepted. At the time, she had entered her final year of high school.

“Despite our age gap, we can share everything with each other. He patiently listens to me talk about all sorts of random things from my teenage years, while I listen to him talk about the pressures of work and life.

“Because we had not made our relationship public, dating was quite interesting. He could not pick me up right in front of my house and had to wait farther away. When we met, we also had to be more restrained in showing affection. He has always respected me,” Ha said.

Only after completing her high school graduation exams did Ha tell her family about the relationship. Her parents were shocked to learn that their daughter was dating a man 16 years older and even feared that she might be being deceived. However, they did not express their concerns too forcefully, instead choosing to talk to her about them gradually.

Every day, when the family gathered together, Ha's father would talk about marriage and the conflicts that could arise from differences in age and lifestyle. Ha understood that her father was trying to help her think things through and make a rational decision.

“To reassure my parents, I brought him home to meet them. That day, my father told him, ‘I won't stop the two of you from loving each other, but if you truly love each other, you have to know how to protect and cherish one another.’ He made the same commitment.

“Even then, to make absolutely sure, my parents went all the way to his village and asked his neighbors about his family and what kind of person he was. Fortunately, people in the neighborhood spoke highly of him and liked him, so he passed the test,” Ha recalled with a smile.

Cuong's family, meanwhile, were delighted that he had found someone he was happy with and wanted to marry at the age of 35.

Welcoming his bride home

Once Ha had turned 18 and graduated from high school, Cuong proposed. Ha admitted that she struggled with the decision at the time. Though she believed she had found the right person, she still worried that she was not mature enough for marriage.

She shared those concerns with her boyfriend. He gave her a simple answer: “Once we're married, you'll gradually grow into it. I don't expect you to become mature overnight.”

“In the end, I chose what I believed would make me happy, and that was him,” Ha said.

In February 2026, the couple held their wedding. They held a wedding ceremony at a church and celebrated with a reception at home. The groom's family prepared hundreds of tables of food and invited 500 guests. 

Thanh Minh