On his engagement day, a groom from Thanh Hoa province arrived at his fiancée’s home with a vibrant procession of eight bamboo-laden shoulder poles carrying ceremonial offerings such as betel leaves, areca nuts, fish, coconuts, rice, and various traditional cakes.

The event was captured in a two-minute video that has since gone viral on TikTok, amassing hundreds of thousands of views for its touching tribute to age-old Vietnamese wedding customs.

According to the video, the groom was accompanied by a team of elders and young men from his village. Each man carried a beautifully-decorated bamboo pole, balancing rattan baskets filled with a diverse array of offerings including betel and areca, fish, chicken, coconuts, cakes, and rice wine.

The visual splendor stirred great curiosity among viewers, with many commenting on the cultural richness behind the gifts.

“This is the first time I’ve seen coconuts and fish used as engagement offerings - what could they symbolize?”

“This image speaks volumes about the groom’s respect for the bride’s family.”

“These days, most families bring only money to engagement ceremonies. It’s refreshing to see traditional values being preserved.”

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The groom's family carefully prepared the ceremonial offerings.
Photo and video: Provided by the characters

The groom, identified as Bui Van Duc, and his bride-to-be Bui Thi Yen Nhi, both from the Muong ethnic group in Quy Luong commune, Thanh Hoa province, celebrated their engagement on November 1. The video only recently gained attention online.

Speaking to VietNamNet, Duc shared that his family had meticulously prepared the offerings in accordance with traditional customs.

The day before the engagement, the groom’s family delivered an 80kg pig, 10 bottles of rice wine, and 10kg of glutinous rice to the bride’s home.

“These initial gifts were meant to formally request permission from the bride’s family to return the following day for the engagement,” Duc explained. “They were used to prepare a feast for both families.”

On the main engagement day, the groom’s family returned with the eight shoulder poles of ceremonial gifts, in addition to $1,000 in cash and 140 handmade bánh chưng (square sticky rice cakes).

Each item was chosen with care. The coconuts had to be fresh and green. The areca nuts were carefully selected for size and appearance. The betel leaves were intact, the fish were the largest in the family pond - two nearly identical in size.

The 140 bánh chưng were crafted by skilled female relatives, each cake perfectly square and wrapped with precision.

“These offerings were not a bride price,” Duc emphasized. “They were heartfelt gifts to express respect and sincerity to the bride’s parents and extended family. The cash was intended for the bride’s family to buy gifts for the couple, while the sticky rice cakes were shared with relatives as a joyful announcement of the engagement.”

The symbolic nature of the offerings stems from traditional introductions once spoken by elders during wedding negotiations: “Our family has a betel garden, a fish pond, a flock of chickens…”

Thus, these “homegrown” gifts served as both metaphor and gesture - an embodiment of warmth, humility, and kinship between two families.

“Nowadays, many people abandon these traditional practices and rely solely on cash gifts,” Duc said. “But my parents wanted to honor every custom, exactly as it should be.”

“I felt deeply happy that my engagement day could preserve these beautiful cultural values.”

The bride’s family received the offerings with great respect and enthusiasm. Their warm welcome only deepened Duc’s appreciation for the enduring beauty of Vietnam’s traditional wedding rites.

Duc and Yen Nhi were in a long-term relationship before deciding to marry. Their wedding is scheduled for December 2025.

Thanh Minh